[ He needs to make sure that Noctis fully understands what he's getting into. I remember enough to want you but not enough to know if it's worthwhile to want me. He couldn't say it out loud, unwilling to bare that much to someone but the thought made his stomach flip.
Part of the reason he was so worried about Noctis ever coming looking for him is how did he answer to how much he recalled? The truth, obviously, he didn't think he was the kind of man who would be dishonest. He was, apparently, the kind of man who would make it difficult to have to deliver the message, to avoid ever finding out if he was wanted in return.
It was one thing to remember flickers, impulses, desires; it was something else entirely for it to be reciprocated when he was this...inefficient. He was supposed to protect Noctis; he could remember enough to feel certain in that. He'd failed in that job miserably. If Ardyn hadn't taken him out when he did, he's not entirely sure he would have stopped himself. If he was that weak, then he could be a risk to Noctis until he was fully back to himself. ]
This isn't a matter of making things right, Noctis. [ This wasn't Noct's fault, by any means. Ardyn was the one who had orchestrated everything. Secondary to that, he was the one who was too weak to resist whatever had twisted him up so much that he'd turned against them. The fault stopped there. ] You are the least to blame in all of this nightmare.
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Part of the reason he was so worried about Noctis ever coming looking for him is how did he answer to how much he recalled? The truth, obviously, he didn't think he was the kind of man who would be dishonest. He was, apparently, the kind of man who would make it difficult to have to deliver the message, to avoid ever finding out if he was wanted in return.
It was one thing to remember flickers, impulses, desires; it was something else entirely for it to be reciprocated when he was this...inefficient. He was supposed to protect Noctis; he could remember enough to feel certain in that. He'd failed in that job miserably. If Ardyn hadn't taken him out when he did, he's not entirely sure he would have stopped himself. If he was that weak, then he could be a risk to Noctis until he was fully back to himself. ]
This isn't a matter of making things right, Noctis. [ This wasn't Noct's fault, by any means. Ardyn was the one who had orchestrated everything. Secondary to that, he was the one who was too weak to resist whatever had twisted him up so much that he'd turned against them. The fault stopped there. ] You are the least to blame in all of this nightmare.