nascere | LET'S PLAY {open post}

[ noctis is tired, real tired. he doesn't remember the last time he actually had some time to himself, his own frustration simmering under the surface. but things have to get done, deadlines have to be met, and he doesn't have time to just sit and stew. and he can't, either, he's the prince, right?

being a prince means dealing with things, even with someone who he had missed so sorely, his childhood friend and the person he had quietly pined for, dealing with his clear disappointment at being home, dealing with the fact that he'd found love and some measure of happiness away from him. that's okay, maybe, it has to be.

maybe it's not.

so he's sullen and simmering, nursing the wounds he refuses to let others see, prickly and distant -- especially with ignis, who had made him so unspeakably angry -- and if he's honest with himself, he had been jealous of whoever had made the man so happy in altissia that he would simply extend his working stint there and --

-- so when ignis sounds like he would rather be anywhere but here, noctis bristles. ]

What is it now?

( he eyes him for a moment, tasting that bitterness on his tongue, before setting the essay down on the table with a soft smack. honestly? if cor hadn't denied him the ability to leave, if he hadn't insisted ignis stick around and make things better with noctis, he'd probably be well on his way back to altissia. even he can feel how poor that thinking is, but it doesn't stop the emotions from running through his head — they liked him there. hell, they loved him there. no one ever gave him an attitude. no one ever got angry.

but. he's here, and he's attempting to make the most of it. noctis is, after all, his oldest and closest friend, regardless of how strained their relationship has become in the blink of an eye — he still cares for him, even though noctis is really making it difficult, right now. crossing his arms over his chest, ignis shakes his head, frowning. )

It's gibberish, Noct. You'd be better using it for kindling than turning it in for a grade.

( he believes noctis has given up. that this is all a product of him not trying anymore, not applying himself, not living up to his full potential. that frustrates ignis more than words could say — watching his prince become lazier and lazier, while he was away. huffing a bit, ignis turns on his heels and moves back into the kitchen. anger means he has to commit his hands to doing something other than punching a wall, and he's willing to bet noctis hasn't eaten yet, anyway. )

Then go toss it, if you want.

[ noctis says tersely, already busy fishing for the other documents. he's running behind, he knows -- shit, there's that math test tomorrow, right? and the whole set of files he has yet to look through; his current stand-in advisor hadn't bothered to write him summarised notes, but that's okay, he'll just need a little more time.

there isn't as much venom in his voice as there is mounting frustration, mostly at himself. his schedule is packed to the brim and overflowing, and he hates that he can't even do something as basic as catching up -- he's had to cancel quite a few things already, and he curses when the pile of large, thick files tumble to the floor. ]

Ah, damn it!

[ he's immediately moving to gather them up, flustered while ignis is in the kitchen doing god knows what. flipping one of the agriculture folders open, he's reaching for his math textbook at the same time, frowning at the way the words swim before his eyes. when was the last time he really slept? he doesn't remember. there are dark circles under his eyes, noctis' nerves frayed as he struggles to keep up, at least, and while ignis' presence chafes and hurts him in ways he doesn't quite understand, the barbs the man tosses at him is numbed by all the things he's failing to do. ]

( his frown only furthers as he eyes the fridge, looking at a meager collection of energy drinks and expired condiments. the freezer has a few cautionary tales of frozen dinners that make ignis squint — he cleaned quite a few of those up this morning, but is that really the only thing he's been eating? a hunch set in him, and once ignis gets started there are few powers on the planet that can stop him from his goal. underneath a cabinet, he pulls out the trash can he hadn't thought to empty, and start going through.

each empty can makes a clink on the marble countertop as he pulls out five, six — he gives up after that with a puzzled look on his face, looking back at noctis who seems flustered over some of the work he's doing. cautiously, ignis raises up one of the empty energy drinks and calls out to him. )

How many of these are you drinking a day?

( he looks at noctis with a different eye, then. less angry, more just ... worried. he's lost so much weight, his clothes just drape over his shoulders. that's not to mention that all of his defined musculature seems to have smoothed out from a lack of training, and he almost looks ... sickly, behind his poor attitude. his cheeks are hollow, his eyes are dark. he looks overwhelmed and exhausted. the bite is gone from ignis' voice as he steps closer to him again, a pleading expression on his face. )

Noct. When was the last time you ate?

I don't know. This morning?

[ why does ignis look like that? noctis is shuffling the papers clumsily, trying to think about the last time he ate something. he offers a little shrug after a thoughtful moment. ]

I had a sandwich?

[ probably, or was it yesterday? in the flurry of activity he's lost track, and he looks over at the bin ignis had previously been rummaging through. ]

A few a day for those.

[ they're his lifesaver, even if it's obvious to everyone but noctis that he's running on fumes. it doesn't yet click in his mind as to why ignis looks distressed. is noctis doing something wrong? ]

I mean, I gotta get as much work done as I can, in between meetings and classes --

( he. knits his eyebrows, lifting up a hand to stop noctis in whatever he was about to say, glancing down at the pile before him. something about that, too, seems odd — something ignis had overlooked in his irritation, something that sticks out like a sore thumb now as he picks up one file and flicks through it once, twice, looking for something — )

These aren't summarized.

( full reports? summarizing these was one of the biggest parts of ignis' job before he left. if his handler hasn't been doing them —

and he hasn't been feeding noct, what has he been doing at all?

watching noctis work now is like knives in his chest — a poor guy with the world on his shoulders, with no help, doing his best to make the impossible possible. the frown is now permanently attached to his face as he takes a seat beside noctis, leaning over to gently take the pen out of his hands. )

Just — stop, for a minute. Just stop.

[ hmm? noctis looks over at him blankly, allowing ignis to take the pen from him as he tries to figure out just where he's coming from. ignis looks displeased, but oddly enough, not at him. ]

Yeah, well -- Terence doesn't really do summaries and stuff.

[ he explains, which is okay, right? it just takes awhile longer but noctis can manage it. but the strangest thing is the look on ignis' face, like he's upset and unhappy but noctis, for the life of him, can't figure out why. in his puzzlement, he puts aside his sullen temper, his hand resting on the open math book he had been planning to study, too. ]

Anyway, I have a test tomorrow --

Shit. ( ignis breathes, completely against his character, taken aback as a realization hits him through noct's words. ) You're in the middle of exams, that's right.

( he rubs a hand over his face. how could he be so blind? so forgetful?

anger at himself and empathy towards noctis focuses down into one emotion entirely — suspicion and loathing in his previous handler's direction. something unmistakably bad has been going on here, and the crown prince has been allowed to suffer all this time, right under their noses. under ignis' — he's allowed it, in his time away. he realizes all at once that he can't work here and leave part of his heart in altissa, so he draws it back in, puts it back in his chest where it belongs. his home is here anyway, his family. he was foolish to think he could've replaced it.

foolish to think he could've replaced noct.

taking a stabilizing breath before he lets his anger show too much, ignis draws a sharp gaze in noctis' direction, although it's definitely not pointed at him, and instead trying to peer through this wall he's had to put up, looking behind the facade to see how their prince is doing really. )

What exactly has Terence done, then?

Edited 2020-03-05 02:32 (UTC)

[ that's new, ignis is cursing. noctis raises his brows at him curiously, still trying to figure out just what it is that set him off. he's pretty sure he hadn't actually said anything to needle him now, so it could mean his work? maybe? is he also mad that noctis can't finish it in time? ]

Yeah, sorry, I haven't had the time to --

[ hmm? he blinks when ignis asks him about what terence does, and he gestures vaguely to the seat before him. ] He usually just sits here and makes sure I'm doing my work, I guess.

[ noctis doesn't recall him doing much else, and he looks back at him, baffled. ]

Why?

He just watches you?

( he asks, incredulous again. he doesn't much conceal his anger this time as he runs a hand through his hair, leaning back somewhat so he doesn't end up smashing something with his fists. he takes a deep breath and sets to cracking all his knuckles, using that as something to focus on, to keep a level head.

the worst part about this even the cruelties done. it's that noctis didn't recognize them, just accepted his abuse as it was handed to him.

has ignis failed him this badly? )

Noct, ( his voice is softer now, pained. ) I've been your right hand for many years, and consider myself something of an expert in that position. Half of my job is summarizing those reports and going to the meetings you miss, so you get an overview of them — I might mention, you should be missing all of them during the week of your exams, no questions asked. ( he shakes his head. ) The other half of my job is feeding you, washing you, making sure you look presentable.

So, if he wasn't going to your meetings, and he wasn't taking care of you, Noctis, what the fuck was he doing?

( simmering now, he shakes his head again, collecting the stacks of papers from in front of him, shuffling them into a neat pile and pulling them against his chest. away from noct and out of his mind. he kneels in front of noctis, looking between each of his eyes, before his free hand reaches out, cupping the side of his cheek. )

I'm so, so sorry, Noct. There will be hell to pay, I can promise you that. Myself included.

Yourself included?

[ wait, why? noctis takes a few moments to digest all of this, and can only come to the conclusion that his temporary caretaker had fucked up big time, and ignis is angry -- but at least ignis doesn't seem angry with him, so maybe that's a little plus in all of this.

what bothers him, however, is how pained ignis sounds, and noctis frowns as he watches ignis take all the texts away, kneeling before him in apology. well, he had thought of ignis doing that time after time, starting from the time he'd asked to stay in altissia and forgo his birthday completely, but that's neither here nor there.

he feels his heart clench, and he leans into his cheek nonetheless, quietly, desperately greedy for ignis' touch, so much so that he hates himself for it. ]

Ignis -- what's all this? You were so willing to leave me. And now --

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