nascere | LET'S PLAY {open post}

Prompto used to tease that he'd found a gray hair or two when he was assisting me, at times. Once my vision was back, I looked for myself but shockingly, I seem to have avoided it for the most part.

[ He can't quite imagine himself with the same hair style while it's gray, though. The pompadour just wouldn't look the same; it'd be odd. What will be nice to do is go back to it, however. He's missed his morning routine. The compliment jars him a little bit- he doesn't look startled but there's this beat where it hits and he lets himself enjoy it, lets himself have a moment where he's just full of warmth and affection for a man he loves to a point of excess. ]

I hope so. I'm certain you'll be much the same. [ Despite Regis' aging so quickly, he still looked regal beyond all reason, so it stands to reason. Ignis' lips tug into a tiny smile at another thought. ] Luna's going to be lovely, you realize. Between the two of you, she'll be fierce as can be.

[ Luna, huh. He softens at the mention of his daughter, this beautiful, wonderful little life he had made with Octavia, and his smile widens despite himself. She is the pride and joy of his life -- he'd messed up on so many things, could have done better on even more, but Luna... Luna's perfect. That Ignis can see the same also makes something warm curl in his chest. ]

And you, too. [ He says after a moment, wonders if he's taking too big a risk in including Ignis in his daughter's formative years, wanting him to be there with him as he and Octavia raise their daughter. Ignis, he thinks, should be a part of this as well. But is this pushing the envelope? Where's the line now? ] I've seen how you handle her, she seems to like you a lot.

[ At first he worries that he's made a mistake talking about the daughter that Noctis has with Octavia - mentioning anything related to the latter seems to be a pretty good attempt at shooting himself in the foot. Thankfully, Noctis doesn't seem upset. ]

At that age, they like anything that they see, it seems. [ She's all too happy to gum all over his shirt collar and glasses when she takes them off of his face; thankfully, there's no danger of them breaking as they're rather thick and ever since Noctis fixed his eyes, he doesn't need them. ] I forgot how much...easier babies could be, though their sleep schedules leave a bit to be desired.

It's because you won't let her cry it out, Mom.

[ Noctis teases. There are some times when it's just Luna throwing a tantrum, and he's been informed that those times -- it's better to let them cry. Noctis isn't always very successful at this; it bothers him, too, when his baby cries, but he reminds himself that she's fed, clean, and cuddled to sleep prior to that and it's just her fussing. Ignis, however, is another thing entirely. He's been told that the man is pretty much devoted to the little princess, and he's warmed by the reports. How lucky she would be if she had a fraction of his love, too.

Being loved by Ignis, he thinks, is quite a special thing. ]

Do you like her?

I sat for long periods of time in a car with three grown men who complained about their arses going numb if we drove for longer than an hour with no bathroom breaks. A baby crying is nothing.

[ It's said sweetly, but the teasing edge is there. For a moment, it's like things are normal again. Ignis doesn't grin but his smile widens enough for a hint of teeth and he's genuinely happy for a beat. This is normal. This can be their new normal, they just have to fumble blindly through it. At least he has experience with that. ]

I do. She's quite sweet. One of her nurses picked her up a stuffed calico cat and she seems quite thrilled with it. The last time I saw her, she was gumming furiously at a paw, loath to let it go.

[ Noctis snorts at that -- yeah, he caught that shade. And really, he can't complain. Ignis has been dealing with their shit for as long as he can remember, and Noctis' shit for even longer. The reminder of Ignis' quiet, undying devotion, his efforts all these years makes Noctis shift, fills him with an intense gratitude. All that aside, all their issues with each other aside, one thing is obvious: Ignis has done so much for all of them, and for Noctis especially. And -- ]

I'm glad you're here.

[ He says finally. He's been getting better at expressing himself; in thanks to just about everything that's forced him to grow up, to take on even bigger responsibilities. In thanks to the love he's never stopped feeling for the man sitting opposite him. ] And I thought you gave her that toy. Or was it the green fish plushie?

[ He wouldn't have traded spending that time with them for anything in the world, though. He teases, but he didn't mind; for someone as fussy as Ignis could be, the other three were remarkably fun to travel with and none of them were ever really at each other's throats over anything related to their living or sleeping arrangements. ]

I -- me too, Noct.

[ The comment shakes him from his thoughts and the response is instinctive, a little surprised. Swallowing against the lump in his throat, Ignis gathers condensation on his fingertip and then slides it down the line of his glass, not quite sure how he sorts through the rush of words that want to spill out through his lips any time they get close to anything resembling feelings. ]

No, the fish one was the one I purchased. It was meant as a distraction - she kept trying to gum at the buttons on my suit jacket, or on my gloves so I thought a plush similarly shiny would help distract her. It works well enough; she keeps trying to eat the fins and scales.

A little girl after my own heart. [ Noctis hums. But he's proud of it -- that Luna has a fondness for putting just about everything in her mouth is amusing, and he's ridiculously fond of her habits. Noctis notices just how he's reacting to those words, the comment catching him off guard, and he aches to touch him, to run his fingers through his hair and pull him close, but he resists. This is going to be difficult, but in the mood Noctis is in, the warmth between the both of them, Noctis thinks he can take anything on.

The days that come after turn to weeks, but despite the promise and the intention to keep things casual, the tiniest gestures keep slipping through; whether it's lingering touches, the closeness between them during photoshoots, or willingly sitting close together whenever he and Ignis are out with Gladio and Prompto and somehow it always turns out that they have to sit far too closely together during cozy breakfasts at private restaurants. Noctis notices, but says nothing -- the little things help to stave off the longing and yet still somehow stir them up further; but he tries to ignore that.

Prompto and Gladio know, however, that they've decided to shelve things and resume just being friends, as king and adviser -- and while the latter is openly dubious at that assertion, he doesn't push. At least, not really. Noctis, on his end, is far too wrapped up in his increasingly lessening proximity to Ignis and the increasingly frequent little touches, tiny gestures to really notice just what is going on between their other two friends.

Tonight is a rare night for all of them. Prompto and Noctis had planned a movie marathon the day before Noctis' birthday, featuring perennial favorites like the Conjuring and its sequel, and Noctis is all for rewatching it for old times' sake (it doesn't hurt that they're his personal favorites as well). And so it is that they're all gathered in one of the rooms Prompto had insisted on, colder and draftier than Noctis would like but far enough away from the central areas of the citadel that nobody would come by and bother them. The large screen's set up, so is the sound system and the movies, and before them are mountains of snacks and sodas and the blessed absence of anything related to vegetables. Somehow, loveseats are the only ones Gladio can find, and before Noctis can offer to sit with Prompto, his best friend's already settling in with Gladio.

Which, of course, leaves Noctis with Ignis, but it's been a long day and he's too tired to keep up a front that he even gives a shit about boundaries that he just settles in with him for the movies, pressing close and leaning against him. Ignis is familiar, he's warm and so good and it's getting so chilly that he's nudging even closer. Prompto makes a soft complaint about the cold halfway, and Gladio grunts -- Noctis isn't sure what's happening there but at least Prompto doesn't bring it up again. Noctis, however -- yeah, still feeling the chill. Softly to Ignis, he asks. ]

Are there blankets?

[ He wants to be a part of this, in whatever shape it takes, he realizes. Luna isn't his daughter and he has no right to her, of course, but he wants to be a part of Noctis' life, and Luna is going to be a huge part of it. Being able to help with her, to assist with all of the insanity that comes with a newborn is part and parcel with his job, but it's never felt like one.

The dinner ends blessedly easily; they go their separate ways and Ignis thinks that while it may not be easy, it's...doable.

He's quickly proven wrong in the span of a few weeks. It's remarkably hard not to slip into old habits, and it's harder still when so much of his life and time at the Citadel do revolve constantly around Noctis. Sometimes it's a photoshoot and an interview; he's there to coordinate, to screen questions, to ensure the king isn't asked anything off the record. He's there to straighten Noctis' tie, to fix his hair, to smear some of his own pomade onto his fingers and work it through Noctis' unruly bangs. Eventually, he doesn't notice himself doing it as much, but by the time he really thinks about it, it's graduated to more.

Noctis fits in against his side at breakfast, the booth laughably small. He can't argue that Prompto and Gladiolus should take it and give them the chairs, either, because Prompto is already seated and he's the only one narrow enough for it. The first few times the two of them put Noctis next to him, he thinks nothing of it. Afterward, though, it happens too frequently for it to be anything but intentional. At first he thinks that it's because of them trying to push Noctis to him and vice versa, but then after watching a while he revises that hypothesis. Prompto sitting close isn't strange; he was physically affectionate and liked bumping shoulders, liked being close like an over-eager puppy who didn't realize how large he was.

Prompto cuddling up to someone wasn't strange. Prompto shouldering himself under Gladiolus' arm at one point when they were all out together, saying something low and soft and the smile on Gladiolus' face before the shorter man was gently shoved away-? That was something else. He never mentions it - if they're holding it secret, so will he, but it's something he notices more and more. Are he and Noctis like that? He's not sure; an outsiders perspective is better to gauge.

Regardless, it keeps happening and Ignis isn't about to boot them out of their own seats where they live so he makes the loveseat work. There's a truly horrendous variety of sugary sodas and snacks, but Gladiolus, the saint that he is, picked up some kale chips for him so he's been idly nibbling on those while they prep for the movie. By the time they're settled, Noctis is a warm weight against him again, but it's closer than the booth. They're in private - there's no fancy clothing, no neatly pressed suits. Ignis is in a pair of slacks and a simple button-up with suspenders, but it's comfortable enough. Still, when Noctis curls into him, he adjusts one side from habit, the strap sliding over his shoulder to fall loose, so Noctis doesn't end up with his face pushed against cold metal when it's already chilly. ]

Ah. One on the -- couch, it seems. [ Couch. Not loveseat. Ignis gropes back and shakes it out, gently settling it over Noctis' thighs. A glance at Gladiolus reveals what could reasonably be construed as an apologetic smile if Ignis didn't know the bastard. ]

Sorry, kids. Iris tried to get me into the whole cute blankets and throw pillows thing but it just never stuck. That's the only one we have.

[ And Noctis fits against him all the damn time, pliant under Ignis' attentions out of habit, and he ends up liking it too much to really care. Lines have been blurred for as long as he remembers, but far be it for the king to enforce them. Ignis is a comforting presence by him, and it's easy to lapse into what they were before, little touches and standing a little too close, sometimes a hand briefly resting on the small of his back before he reminds himself that they have to keep a distance from each other.

He can't, it's even more difficult to stay away, to not want him, and the constant reminders wears him down enough not to pay much attention to it anymore, and if Ignis doesn't say anything about it, it's okay, right?

Even now, too, when Ignis shifts under him and he musters up a little smile when he notices the extent of his thoughtfulness. The strap goes, and he has to resist the power urge to nose against his chest. It's dark, they're close, and it's not like the other two will notice, right? But he has to respect what they've agreed on no matter how difficult it is, and he tugs on the blanket to share it with him as well. Ignis must be feeling chilly too, right?

Pulling his legs close to his body, he's just a maneuver away from practically spilling into Ignis' lap when the blanket is draped on the both of them. ]

Mm. That's all right.

[ The king isn't complaining, not when Ignis feels so good pressed against him. His hand coming to rest on Ignis' knee absently, he watches the screen. ] You okay with it, Iggy?

And here I thought you would have a house covered in decorative throws and pillows, for aesthetic purposes.

[ Ignis says it very, very casually, and maybe it's the few beers Gladiolus has had, or maybe it's the generally relaxed air but Gladiolus doesn't hesitate when he responds:

Nah, that's more Prom's thing than me.

Prompto doesn't notice, but Ignis certainly does and he lifts an eyebrow, watching Gladiolus the whole time as he adjusts the blanket that he knows Gladiolus didn't purchase. It's entirely worth it for the way Gladiolus' eyes go wide and then he turns his attention right back to the screen, not willing to get into that particular discussion right now.

Pleased that he's right (and well aware there's no throwing stones when your own house is very, very much made of glass) he takes a sip of the coffee mixed with coffee liqueur that Prompto had picked up for him. It's quite good, even better heated, shockingly. It doesn't really go with kale chips, but he isn't going to complain about that or the chill. ]

I'm quite -- warm enough, please don't worry.

[ Quite warm, indeed. Ignis doesn't flinch at the hand on his knee, but oh, he is aware of it like a brand pressed into skin, like having his heart isn't enough, Noctis has to leave marks on him everywhere. Delicately (because there's no where else to put his arm, of course) he curls it around the back of the chair so Noctis can settle in. ]

[ Prompto doesn't notice, and neither does Noctis, who is evidently more wrapped up in kneading his way to getting more comfortable. And so here he is, tucked under his arm and more content than he remembers being, mostly because this is the first time they've ever been this close, practically wrapped in each other.

His scent is familiar, just as welcome as it has been before. He's resting his head against the crook of his arm, so impossibly close to his neck, and the vee of his open collar is impossibly alluring, giving him a glimpse of the ring he still wears against his throat.

He still wears the ring.

It takes all the self control he has not to kiss over his pulse, but he smiles to himself, squeezing his thigh briefly. ] Mm. You feel nice.

[ He should have known that he'd only last a short while before succumbing to his own desires. He can't even be frustrated with Noctis for bending the rules because here he is, cuddling the king on a couch. Admittedly, there's no one else around that he trusts more and they've also all lived in each other's pockets for so long that perhaps sitting on a couch closely isn't...odd, but still. He knows what this is. He should be the one moving away.

Instead, his arm lowers, fingers brushing the top of Noctis' shoulder while the king settles in, dangerously close to where cool metal presses against his skin. He's never hid that he still wears the ring, of course, but Noctis has never been so close to it recently. Softly, because the movie is on, not because it's just to Noctis, no, not at all, ]

Given that you'll fall asleep on almost any surface if you stay still long enough, I think you may be biased, but the compliment is appreciated all the same.

[ Noctis murmurs a drowsy acquiescence, and he realizes he's never been happier or more content. This can't last, but as long as he's here and there's a good movie on, all is well. He feels the softest touches on his shoulder, himself only in a simple button up, having shed all other unnecessary items. Here, he's just Noctis; there are no royal obligations to consider, nothng to make a decision on save for whether now's a good time to fall asleep.

He keeps an eye on everything that unfolds onscreen, but the softness of his words brings him back to a better time, an easier time, which is why he takes a few minutes to register the entirely too familiar sound of quiet rustling and soft, wet little sounds that have absolutely nothing to do with eating. He knows that eating sounds like, and that -- well.

Noctis finally sits up when he hears the tiniest little muffled moan. In the darkess of the room he can just barely make out Gladio and Prompto. Quietly flabbergasted when he finally cottons on to the fact that they're actually kissing, he looks to Ignis and mutters quietly. ] The two of them?

[ He'd put actual money down on a bet that Noctis doesn't make it through half of the first movie without nodding off. Amused, Ignis tries his best to pay attention - he's never seen them, despite being around when Noctis and Prompto had movie nights and invited Ignis. Usually, he had other duties to attend to and kept half an eye on them outside of that, without really paying attention. Now, there's nothing but Noctis to draw his attention and he's trying not to let that be too obvious.

It'd work, except his drink is warm and delicious and despite the caffeine in coffee, he's relaxing into the couch and stroking his fingertips back and forth over Noctis' shoulder. When the sounds start up, Ignis' lips twitch. He's spent long enough blind that he doesn't need to guess at the sound. Well, then. ]

Mnnh, I'm not certain how long it's been happening, but so it seems. Good for them.

How does that work? [ When? How did he not know this? Were they making out even when they were on the road, because gross. Noctis being blithely unaware, as ever, of the fact that the other two's impressions of him and Ignis' relationship was probably likely running along similar lines. But deep down, however, he cannot help a twinge of warmth and a little bit of envy. They might be highly ranked officers of the crown, but they were still free to have it with whomever they want, whenever they want.

They're happy together, and they don't have to hide it. Noctis is leaning over to peer curiously at them before he moves back to lean against him again, stifling a little snort before the jerk that he is, he says out loud. ]

Jeez, get a room.

[ Which of course bears rise to Gladio's breezy retort just a heartbeat later. ] We're in one, Your Majesty. You don't see us telling you two to get one, do you?

Probably much the same as any other couple, foreplay and generous amount of something slick.

[ It's too quiet for the other two to hear, delivered quietly, tone flat but the smile on his face gives up how amused he is about it. Truthfully, he doesn't know how it works, but they're happy together and both of them deserve to have something good, something worth protecting and fighting towards outside of their jobs.

A piece of him is envious, of course. Their romance is miles simpler than his and Noctis' and while he'd never wish ill on the other two, he does wish theirs could be half as easy.

Which, speaking of how things can't be easy. It's one thing for an idle comment here or there, among friends, but for it to be called out this blatantly makes Ignis stiffen. It's not as if he's lying; they're close, closer than they should be. Gently, Ignis separates from him and picks up his empty glass, glancing around. ]

Well, if you wouldn't mind hitting pause I'm going to pour another cup of coffee - if anyone else would like something?

Another Dr. Pepper!

[ Prompto calls out, red in the face.

Noctis says nothing, silently letting Ignis slip from him -- and with it, warmth. He could sense him stiffen; Gladio's hit the mark squarely, and here they thought they were being subtle. If it must already look like this to the other two, what must it look like to the others? Are they really that obvious. Gladio looks like he realizes it a beat too late, and pauses the movie. He stares at the face of some doll that's supposed to be haunted and pulls the blanket close, retaining the last of Ignis' body heat.

Six, if Gladio hadn't commented on that, they could have spent it like this, each blithely aware but unwilling to give a word to it. ]

We're not together. [ He speaks up finally. Because they aren't, not anymore. There seems to be no end in sight for this damn thing but he knows for sure that right now, there can't be more. ]

Sure you aren't. [ His Shield comments, and even Prompto looks dubious. ] Because that's normal, the two of you pretending you're not taking every chance to get close.

We're not -- [ Noctis is defensive, stiffening, but before he can say anything, Prompto hurriedly steps in. ] Hey, come on. This is movie night, we're here to have fun, get spooked, and then have wonderful nightmares for days after this.

Of course.

[ The lack of warmth against his side is jarring, and his suspender hangs at an odd angle before he realizes that he needs to reattach it. Frowning, he slides fingers under the edge and tugs it back into place, working on fiddling with Gladiolus' ridiculously large coffee maker. When he first got it, Ignis had eyed the size of it and then Gladiolus with raised eyebrows, and the owner of said coffee machine had grinned, wiggled his hand and said 'cause I have big fingers. Need a big coffee machine.

Now, he thinks it's because Iris visits often and she's hooked on the stuff, so it works out quite well for him when he visits. It also means he misses part of the conversation because while his hearing was sharper while blind, it certainly wasn't superhuman. All he catches is Noctis' not together and that's quite enough for him. When he comes out a few moments later, he settles the can of soda with Prompto and takes his place next to Noctis, but it's not nearly as relaxed, nor does he make an attempt to tug him in again. ]

You paused it on a rather ghastly image, didn't you.

Dunno. She looks quite cute from certain angles.

[ Noctis perches on the other end of the seat, curled up in his blanket and just as tense. It's one thing to pretend this works -- it's another thing entirely to be caught out, and he's very, very aware of Ignis settling in beside him; and it's not like he has very far to go when it's a damn loveseat. He can feel the warmth of him, and not for the first time wishes Gladio hadn't ruined everything. He looks over at where he'd adjusted the suspender strap, and settles just on his end of it.

So that's that, he supposes with no small amount of disappointment. To draw close again is to acknowledge it, which is somewhere they don't actually get to cross now. Prompto and Gladio, on the other hand, are settled in comfortably as the movie starts up again. ]

[ This movie is the sort that makes him wonder why people are so foolish in dangerous situations - don't they know better? Of course, it isn't as if he does the right thing in dangerous situations, though his life is a little more politically dangers rather than physically.

Noctis, next to him, is hogging the blanket but it isn't as if Ignis truly needs it; they hit play and Ignis relaxes into the couch a touch, but it's nowhere close to how it was. When they'll be able to fix this, he honestly isn't certain, but they need to sooner rather than later because he doesn't honestly know if he can stand this another few months. Especially, he thinks, eyeing the other two cuddled up on the couch, if this is what he's going to be around. He's happy for them, but oh, if he's not envious of Octavia and Noctis, apparently now it's these two.

focus on the movie. Willing himself to do it doesn't help but he isn't about to leave because he was uncomfortable. Instead, he sips at his coffee and then offers Noctis it; it's sweetened to help mask the taste of the alcohol in it, so Noctis may like it and it may help him stay awake. ]

[ Ignis offers it and Noctis takes it without thinking, fingers brushing his. He tries to ignore how that feels, the electricity that sparks in his fingertips. Grasping the warm cup and sipping from it. He doesn't like coffee -- but it's sweet and creamy-tasting and he takes another, the warmth suffusing him; as does the childish adage of indirect kisses. So this is what Ignis tastes, what he likes. It's strong, a little strange-tasting, but nothing too objectionable about it. Studying him out of the corner of his eye, Noctis watches how involved he is with the movie, musing at how he seems to be parsing the information so very seriously, those fine brows knitting as if he could puzzle out just why movie-people are that stupid.

Noctis has no answer for that, sweetheart, but he does like watching when Ignis gets perplexed. But then he realizes he's staring, watching the play of the light on those gorgeous features, and he looks away. Gods, but he's so beautiful, and Noctis doesn't have the fortitude to stay away.

He shifts then, coming to a decision. His hand rests on the spot between them, palm-up and silent. ]

[ Truthfully, the movie's not what's capturing his interest, and oddly enough it's not Noctis right now, either. It's what he sees out of the corner of his eye: the way Prompto's got Gladiolus tucked in against his chest. The former has has back to the sofa, legs spread and Gladiolus' massive bulk is settled in against him. It looks as if it should be uncomfortable, but it's clear that they're situated in such a way that they're in each other's space, fit together perfectly.

It's the sort of casual intimacy that he and Noctis used to do, back when things were simpler. Back when the idea of curling himself into Noctis didn't mean that he had to answer a thousand questions about timing and intent and justify the action to himself. On the couch, one of Prompto's arms, the one with the bandana, slips up in the space between Gladiolus' arm and side. It's the one he's so careful to never let anyone touch or remove the bandana from and Gladiolus -- Gladiolus wraps a massive hand around his hand and wrist and squeezes. It's painfully intimate and Ignis instantly regrets even having half-looked over there.

Beside him, however, Noctis' hand reaches out and Ignis-- well. I said no to you once. It turns out I don't have the stomach for it again, he thinks, and slides his hand over Noctis', looping their fingers together gently. ]

[ Noctis is looking over at them as well, catching side of Prompto moving in the semi-darkness, how Gladio so tenderly holds him, and he knows what love looks like when he sees it. It's envy, too, that stirs and curls in his chest. How they must have it so easy, how they must enjoy each other, every moment a special kind of bliss. They don't have to worry about what other people think, and in this there is only love.

But then Ignis takes his hand, curls his fingers with his and Noctis' heart flutters in his chest and this, this too is love. He squeezes his hand, a flare of affection so warm and potent in his chest. This is okay too, he thinks. For Ignis, he can endure anything, he can accept everything that he gives. They don't have to talk about it, they don't even need to acknowledge it. In the presence of their friends' love, gentle and true, Noctis comes to terms with his own for Ignis, and no amount of distance can turn it away.

He moves a little closer, then, mutters in his ear. ] Never give Luna dolls.

[ He's breaking every internal rule he's set into place so far but he can't quite find it in himself to regret right now. His two best friends are happy, basking in each other while this honestly atrocious excuse for a movie plays. Noctis is beside him, hand warm and that, too feels like something significant. It feels like they can move past anything in a way that just touching on the couch didn't; this was intentional.

It's been months, he thinks, and dares to rest their shoulders against each other, Gladiolus' sock clad foot sliding over the edge of the couch as he gets more comfortable. It's been months, they're with friends, and they're going to move forward. He can let himself have this. Noctis leans in to whisper into his ear and Ignis laughs quietly, shifting himself on the couch. His hand separates from Noctis' but only for a moment, long enough for him to lift his hand in invitation for Noctis to settle back into him. ]

Luna? Oh, no, I was going to use Insomnia's coffers to commission a reproduction for you and Prompto.

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