nascere | LET'S PLAY {open post}

[ This is what love looks like, fierce as a storm and gentle as a breeze, a constant lodged in both their hearts. The queen listens, watching the play of emotions across his face. It occurs to her that he must not notice how his professional demeanor falls away like snow in coming spring when he speaks of Noctis, of the love that had shared before she came along. It strikes a bitter chord in her, but Octavia has enough presence of mind to understand that what she does with this bitterness, this love that would forever be out of her reach -- that is the only thing that matters. ]

I have done wonders, that's true.

[ It does no one any favours to assume humility; Octavia has never been skewed that way. She is gentle only because she wishes to be, not because it is expected of her. She sets down her glass and rises, stepping towards him. It's easy to reach down, to curl her fingers, elegant and soft and long, over his chin, lifting his face up to hers. He is a very beautiful man, even more so when he speaks of the king. How she must be the interloper in this affair, which is the height of irony, all things considered.

She softens, a flicker of sadness in her eyes. ] I see why he only has eyes for you. [ And how he has no space in his heart for any other. ] Fair is what we make of it. Nothing's ever fair.

[ He's never been the best at hiding his feelings when it comes to the then prince, now king. He's never had to, not when his duties were so firmly intertwined with that love. Regis may not have recognized it for what it was or what it could be, fledgling as it was at the time, but he had known that there was no one better to protect his son and Ignis had never wanted to leave.

Six, he hadn't wanted to leave this time but love for their country was the only thing greater than the love he held for Noctis himself and that would always have to come first. ]

Majesty -

[ It comes out soft, apologetic as she rises and comes to him. She's beautiful and strong and every inch the queen Lucis needs; it would have been easy for Ignis to understand why Noctis had moved on during his absence, if he had. The hand around his glass tightens briefly, the only showing of his discomfort, hesitation. ]

He's lucky to have you, as we all are.

[ Things would be different, were she not the woman she was. ]

You've made allowances far past what is to be expected. Fairness isn't something any of us expect but that doesn't mean you aren't due it, as well.

And what would that look like, this due fairness?

[ Ignis' eloquence is becoming -- it's not difficult for her to see the clout he has in discussions, how he's easily the greatest asset in Lucis. She releases him after a moment, moving past towards the desk by the window. On it lies a familiar magazine that has found its way to her desk, emblazoned with crass speculation about the King of Lucis' proclivities, the face of his lover splashed across the cover, bearing a striking resemblance to Ignis himself. It had broken her heart when she'd seen it, to know that Noctis had not put Ignis out of his mind at all, no matter the nights he'd spent in her bed.

He would never be hers.

She picks it up and hands it over to him when she circles back to her seat, wineglass in hand. She drains the entire thing, feeling the languid burn of it down her throat. ]

You've been briefed on this, I assume.

I don't know.

[ There are thoughts he doesn't dare entertain because they'll ache too much. This is one of them. He won't do this to himself, not when he knows that fairness isn't something they can measure their lives by, not anymore. An easier question, maybe, would be what he wants, but even that he's not certain of.

Octavia moves toward the desk and Ignis stares at the paperwork as if he could understand its contents through simply being close to it but then she brings something else instead. The magazine is one he's familiar with; he'd been kept in all of the email chains at his request but this one he hadn't touched. It wasn't his place, or perhaps it was too much. He can't make apologies for Noctis and doesn't try, but he does take the magazine and doesn't watch her drain her glass. ]

I saw. I wasn't certain if it was true or not. I thought by leaving, it would eliminate any -- temptation. On my part or his.

How wrong we both were. Our King finds his comforts where he will.

[ She says quietly as settles back in, refills her glass but sets it aside. How wrong they were to assume that Noctis would turn to her after he removes himself for the equation. That Noctis' stubborn nature hadn't quite factored into their calculations, that despite that one sure, easy way available to him, he would choose the difficult road, narrow and filled with thorns, littered with broken hearts and a profound loneliness she thinks he finds some sort of refuge in.

It's the only thing that explains his latest bout of... whatever this is. Sometimes Octavia doesn't understand him. She takes a breath, knows that she has to hold it together; if not for her own sake then for her child's. It's a difficult path for her to tread, when yielding is so often seen as weakness. ] He hasn't been the same since you left. To continue like this is not the answer. The one he needs by his side is not me, it's you. And, I've noticed, you feel similarly.

It doesn't seem as if he's found much.

[ The affair with the man who shared his face hadn't lasted long from what he could tell, but any amount of time was still too much for a king that was married with a child. His disappointment in Noctis has bearing on the situation, though. The divorce paperwork sits between them, the other elephant in the room now that he's answered to his faults. ]

I was -- I am prepared to leave again. I promised someone that I would give him another week and then seek him out if he won't see me, to try and talk to him. Maybe I can help...salvage something.

[ Salvage this, keep this from going to shit any more than it has. Ignis is openly apologetic as he looks at her, shifting his glass from hand to hand before he catches the nervous gesture and forces himself to stop. ]

My duty is to him. It may not always take the shape of what either of us want, but I'm prepared for that.

[ A lie. He's not. He doesn't think he'll ever be. ]

You mistake me. This divorce is for my benefit as much as it is his.

[ She leans forward, setting the wineglass aside. Octavia is steady, taking in the nervous tic. ] And, I assume, yours. My work establishing trading links and diplomatic ties between both countries is done. An alliance hinging on a marriage is outdated by now, don't you think?

[ A rhetorical question. She's not looking for an answer, because she's already moving forward. ] I didn't ask you here to offer yourself on the sacrificial altar. I asked you here to do your job.

[ The faintest tug of a smile at her red, red mouth. Initiate proceedings, to make sure it all goes smoothly. ] I will still have access to Luna, of course. And the accord with Nifleheim will proceed as agreed.

[ That, he understands. That she would pick her own happiness over this farce, he does support in a way, but there are logistical steps that he can't even begin to dream of. Has a Lucis Caleum ever gotten divorced? It wasn't something he was aware of ever happening; Regis had loved his wife fully and totally and it had never been a consideration.

With other people this conversation may be considered a threat. He'd thought that it was at first, but given the care with which she's delivered the news and the way they've talked, it's more as if she's honestly divorcing him for a normal reason couples get divorced. He'd...never considered that an option, before. It's beautifully simple, really. The important parts for the treaty are handled, and they have their mutual connection from one country to the next. It's been rather neatly tied up and if she divorces him, well. It isn't as if the alliance needs to stop. The realization hits him slower than he'd like and he stares at her, torn between shock and disbelief. ]

No, I -- I wouldn't dream of ever trying to do something like that. Of course. She's as much your daughter as his.

[ Give him a moment, the brilliant mind that Noctis loves so much is a little overwhelmed here. He doesn't need to ask if she's certain; he doesn't need to trust she's looked into the intricacies of this, to determine if it's valid, if she can do it. ]

I can speak to them tomorrow. If you'll let me know any changes internally you'd like made, I can make them.

[ A room, her items moved, whatever else. ]

Will you stay here?

[ There's always a first time for everything, Ignis -- just like there's a first time for a king who falls hopelessly in love with his royal chamberlain. But Octavia is reaching for a few more dossiers, files neatly documenting the details of different treaties and initiatives. It really is a pleasure to be working with someone just as efficient as she is, and she offers it to him. ]

All that Noctis and I have been working on together in the past year. [ To be honest, she had not anticipated an outcome like this; she had hoped that this could bring them closer together. But sometimes you don't get what you want, and this will have to do. ] I would prefer one of the villas nearby; there are projects I will be continuing to manage. The Employment Programme Noctis was working on, for one.

[ She tilts her head at him, bemused at how he's digesting everything, taking it in. She has no doubt he thought she would come with a threat, and perhaps a part of her intended to. But in the face of his words, this impeccable gentleness, it's difficult to be vicious. ] And there is the matter of being close enough to my daughter. [ A beat. ] Does this trouble you?

[ He takes the dossier carefully, wine glass settled onto the tiny decorative end table. It's thick - proof of all that they've accomplished in such a small time, especially while raising a child. An awful little voice points out that it's all they've accomplished while he was gone, but he shoves that down. It's proof he had set up everything adequately, not proof that they didn't need him.

Idly, he opens the first few pages and nods; it's all what he expected, she's nothing if not thorough and he's familiar with their work. ] One of the villas?

[ That makes him pause and weigh his words. He isn't certain if she means for the projects she's managing as a workspace, or if she means to move there, and worse: he's not sure how much truth he's able to dispense here without overstepping his boundaries. ]

Forgive me if this is -- overstepping, but if you do not intend to return home, I do think you would be more than welcome to stay in the Citadel. [ And here he pauses again - not uncomfortable, but choosing his words very, very carefully. ] Regis was often...distant from his son. He was there when he could be but it wasn't often and while Noctis is and has always been, terribly strong, it does...have an effect. I will support both of you in whatever you choose, but my official recommendation as Chamberlain and adviser would be that you take one of the living quarters in the Citadel, as well as one of the studies. It isn't as if we're lacking. My...recommendation as someone in this, ah, situation, is that you take care of yourself however you see fit and know that I will do everything in my power to ensure it's a comfortable transition. I know too well the ache of living in close contact while wanting.

[ Ignis is still needed, more than anything else -- especially if everything that's occurred in this year is anything to go by. Octavia is profoundly aware of how crucial he is, to Noctis, the Citadel, and Lucis. It's not often you see a man like him, who would give up what he loves for the sake of the greater good.

But his king, too stubborn to let him go -- single-mindedly seeking him in others -- given over to no one except this one before him. ]

He has you. I'm sure he'll be fine. [ She smiles briefly, even if it doesn't quite touch her eyes. The queen is not the one Noctis seeks to have by his side, they both know this. ] You may send my things to the villa within a week; I understand there's quite a lovely one half an hour away.

[ It feels like a failing, somehow. In some ways, this is the only solution that makes sense - an unhappy marriage, a situation that's become untenable, but in so many others Ignis is frustrated with Noctis for putting them here. He's done so much to further the goals they've set in place but here is where he stumbles. Here is where he has drawn the line. Ignis isn't sure if it'd do more harm than good to point this out to Noctis, but that would also require Noctis to even ... talk to him.

Gently, he stacks all of the paperwork together and then settles it off to the side so he can come to her, kneeling. His head bows, body inclining just briefly and then he looks up at her a moment later, not bothering to hide the regret in his tone; she's owed that much, at least. ]

Believe me when I say we are quite lucky to have you here. Both for the kingdom and Noctis.

[ Here is where he definitely draws the line. Here is where Noctis fails; he might be king, but he is still just a man, snared by emotions and in too deep to understand just how to let go. And so he serves, and he ends up hurting others along the way. Collateral, never malicious intent -- but intent never much matters in situations like these.

They are not gods, these kings. They're flawed, and Noctis would rather put his feet to the fire than walk away. Octavia looks down at him for a long moment, before she places a hand on his shoulder. The coming days, weeks will be difficult, but she is tired of being caught at a standstill; she is made for more, and she cannot spend her life in a marriage without love. ]

Please, rise. I'm afraid the task of caring for him is returned to you.

[ Ignis exhales slowly, rising up, looking down at her. She's too good for any of them, truthfully. She deserves better than this mess and at least with this, perhaps she'll get it. Any one would be lucky to have her eye.

The paperwork is gathered up once more, tucked neatly against his chest like it's something precious - in a lot of ways, it is. He isn't certain in this moment if thanking her is something that will come across how he wants it to ( thank you for letting us try again, thank you for understanding, thank you for not hating him ) so instead, he inclines his head one more time. ]

I hope you'll reach out to me if you need anything in the coming weeks. I'll deliver the paperwork to all of the appropriate parties in the morning.

I will, if necessary.

[ She gets to her feet, and the message is clear: their little session is over. She doesn't miss how he holds the documents against his chest like they're precious, like they mean the world to him, and this time her smile is more genuine, even if a touch of sadness lingers. The man must have endured so much, himself. The year away from Noctis must not be easy -- much less the knowledge that they have had a child in his absence. ]

I don't think he ever stopped thinking about you. [ She murmurs. ] And I'm sure you two will have a lot to talk about. He should have a slot freed up tomorrow morning at breakfast -- you may send him my apologies.

[ A better woman than any of them deserve.

Ignis doesn't flinch, but it's a close thing. The mention of Noctis is still tender, the wound reopened after seeing that paperwork, after being presented with the potential to make up for lost time. He'd be a fool not to pursue this after how much they'd fought to get here, after how miserable they've both been but at the same time, he's not sure that it can even work with how things are.

The first step is to make certain that Noctis is made aware of what's happened and what it means going forward. The next is making certain that everything is taken care of with regards to the country. Anything personal will fall into place afterward. Ignis nods one more time and bids her a good night.

He's going to be groggy come morning, but he has to read everything as soon as he gets back to his room. It takes hours, going over every single sheet, making certain that there is nothing he's missed. It's all in place, though. She's done a neat job of it, ensuring that every possible thing has been considered, leaving them with nothing to worry about. He spends another hour sending emails, coordinating housing and moving expenses into the budget and ensuring that these things are taken care of when she wants.

Then, finally, he sleeps. When he wakes in the morning an hour before breakfast, he finishes sending all of the paperwork off and resigns himself to the endless parade of meetings he'll hold on her behalf; he can spare her this, at the very least. A shower makes him feel more human, a few cans of Ebony has him mildly more awake. He doesn't bother styling his hair up; he has practice with Gladiolus after lunch, there's no point when sweat will just make a mess of it. Two checks in the mirror before he leaves and another check in the mirrored walls of the elevator because he's nervous as shit and doesn't want to admit it and then the elevator dings.

Breakfast takes care of itself, thankfully - all he had to do was let them know that there were two people and not to be disturbed and it's all laid out in advance. Ignis slips into the room and settles a small stack of paperwork at Noctis' spot at the table and then takes one across from him, pouring himself a fresh cup while he waits. ]

[ Noctis is forced to be a morning person by necessity, which is another thing that he's settling into. The breakfast settled at the dining table is meant for Octavia and him both before they started for the day. Fiddling with his cufflinks, he eschews the royal raiment for a fitted suit. Black, sleek, with a skull neatly pinned to his tie. The minutes of meetings had come in early today, and he has half a mind to request for them at the table if Octavia didn't mind, but what makes him stop short when he enters with one of his aides is Ignis himself, sitting there across from him.

Ignis, more handsome than he's ever seen him. More tired, too -- he's pretty sure those are eyebags, and it's a sin for him to look as good as he always does, his hair swept down in a look that sends so many hearts aflutter within the Citadel. Surely he must know the effect he has on anyone with functioning vision. Surely he must know the looks he draws, and how Ignis draws him so helplessly into it.

His heart leaps into his throat, and he swallows. He hasn't been expecting him. He had been planning to figure shit out enough to approach him, to do something about it -- Cor had taken him aside and spoken with him at length about his chamberlain and the state of matters between them, and he knows he can't avoid his own feelings forever. ]

Has something happened? Where's Octavia?

[ The doors open and Ignis straightens from where he'd been bent over the table, looking at the different coffee creamers. It was different being back in the Citadel. Where with Aranea's men he was well taken care of, it was much closer to being constantly on the move and the coffee had been lackluster at best. This is ridiculously good. Nervously - though he'll never call it that, never, Ignis smooths a hand down the front of his shirt and stands at borderline attention, watching Noctis come into the room.

He looks every inch the king Ignis knew he would be. He's gorgeous, the suit fitted, the lines of his shoulders emphasized, the contrast of pale skin and blue eyes against the black of his suit jarring. Ignis has never stopped being in love with him and this is just another reminder. ]

She asked me to speak with you this morning. I thought we could over breakfast, as your schedule is open during this time.

[ You can't run away from this goes unsaid. ]

Ah.

[ Noctis tenses. That she would send him instead of turning up herself is not good news. Tense, and fighting to rein in thoughts that have absolutely nothing to do with breakfast and everything to do with the man before him, he takes a seat. The coffee goes ignored -- that's usually Octavia's thing, anyway, and he pops the tab on the soda that's sitting by his plate. ]

All right. [ Dread coils in the pit of his stomach -- he's in no way prepared for this, for him. To deal with everything that's threatened to rear its head in his proximity. But he can't run from this, not anymore. ] What is it?

[ Gods help him but he really hasn't changed. Ignis eyes the soda a moment, but realizes he doesn't have any ability to have a say in the sort of trash he consumes, does he? Instead, he settles into his seat and nods to the paperwork that is sitting at Noctis' part of the table. ]

There's no...point in mincing words. She's begun filing for divorce. I've already started taking care of the necessary steps to push it through the Council and elsewhere and will be coordinating everything relating to her move and the general status of the household while I'm here.

[ Because, despite the divorce, he's not quite sure if Noctis would have him stay. The option for him to send Ignis away is there, much as he hates it. ]

I won't put words into her mouth, but she spoke to me about it last night. I...wasn't certain if she had ever spoken to you about the idea.

[ While you're here? Does this mean Ignis doesn't plan to stay? There is a lot about this to digest, but Noctis exhales, rubbing at his temple. No, he's not surprised -- they've touched on this before, when Luna was born. And before that, too -- and Noctis had been wracked with guilt, aware of how he had fallen short of her, how he had failed her. He knows this, of course he does. But she had taken it in stride the way she always did, which did nothing to alleviate the fact that he's messed up in so many ways. ]

She... mentioned it. [ Noctis had refused, then -- there was Lucis to think about, there was Luna to think about. He stares at the paperwork and takes it, already sees her signature on the documents. He's silent, looking through the documents. Of course she would talk to Ignis about it -- of course he would come here. He's let her down, and instead of lighting this entire mess on fire she still looks to help, anyway. He's failed her, and it's never been more obvious. What would Ignis think of all this -- is he disappointed in him? He wouldn't be surprised if he was.

This whole thing's a mess, and Noctis is at the centre of it all, always too stubborn and too proud to yield. ] What did you two talk about?

[ Well, it's a relief that the subject, sensitive as it is, was broached and that this wasn't a surprise beyond timing. Small blessings, he supposes. Ignis reaches to a platter of fruit and starts dishing himself up, intent on acting as if this is normal - a normal meeting, between a king and his chamberlain, a normal meeting between two people in political situations, not a meeting between two people who loved each other so fiercely it ruined the marriage of one half of them. ]

I'm glad it isn't a shock.

[ It seems a poor consolation, but he doesn't know what else to say. Idly, he starts cutting up a piece of fruit into careful pieces and weighs his words, not sure how much ought to remain private. ]

About the status of things. About where she intends to see everything go, should you sign the paperwork. She's seen everything through. I will assist her in obtaining a villa nearby so she can maintain a relationship with Luna. She intends to keep working on all of the projects the two of you were occupied with.

[ This is not normal. There is nothing normal about this, with Ignis sitting less than four feet away from him, dining like this happens every day instead of it being the first time they've actually spoken to each other. Granted, the latter half of that is largely on Noctis. He's watching him, still digesting the news and reeling from the truth of it. She had been unhappy, he knows -- Gods know that he's tried but he knows, too, that he hadn't tried hard enough, not when the reason for it is sitting across from him.

Ignis might have left him to learn how to say no to Noctis and to end whatever they had, but Noctis has no such luxury as the one left behind. ]

No, I didn't think she'd do it. [ But she would, he knows. They've been married almost two years, and it's a long time to get to know someone you're married to. ] All right. Does anyone else know yet?

[ Because this is going to be a nightmare. The Council is going to take him to task for it, fearful that the treaty and alliance will fall through. A part of him worries as well, unsure of how to take this. Should he make a bid for her to reconsider? Is this what's happening here? Ignis would have foreseen all the potential problems arising from this divorce, and Noctis looks to him. ] And the alliance?

[ There's no point to wringing his hands, so he doesn't. It's as simple as that. ( Nothing about this is simple. ) This is the closest they've been, the first conversation they've had in ages and it aches, each word that he pushes across the table falling flat, somehow inadequate.

How do you sum up a relationship that's spanned so many years and culminated in nothing but a marriage that you then have to help break up not just in theory but in practice?

So he eats. He reaches for a croissant and gets as far as cutting it in half, buttering and putting jam on one before he catches himself. Realizes. Remembers. It takes every ounce of effort to be nonchalant - to place the pastry down, to move it to the side and pick something else, answering as he moves. ] I've contacted relevant parties; we're going to have a busy few days, but I'll be there to help coordinate everything for you. I didn't want to rearrange your calendar without speaking, however, so I've left that alone.

[ Toasted bread, that's safe. Ignis butters that instead, layering a thin line of jelly over the top. ]

Safe. As I said, she's taken care of everything. The folder is yours to keep; it's a summarized version of what she presented me with last night.

[ Yes, he'd stayed up ridiculous hours to make it for Noctis. No, he'd never admit that. ]

[ A croissant. Of course it is. Noctis' gaze is drawn to it, the memory of a time long ago -- when they'd shared breakfast in bed and Ignis had taken some of his, butter and jam, and Noctis had thought nothing of eating it from his fingers. But it looks like he's not the only one that recalls it -- he watches him put it down, his mouth dry. So he remembers. The croissant sits there now, uneaten, left behind for toast, and it's so absurd he wants to laugh, wants to cut the tension between them any way he can.

He reaches for the croissant because he's not letting that go to waste, and because he damn well wants to. If Ignis is determined not to bring up memories then they might as well not make it weird. He wonders if Ignis does this for Aranea, too -- if they have breakfast in bed together out there. If he's continued with her in that year. Maybe they have -- it's not his place any longer to ask, no matter how he feels about it.

He takes a bite of the croissant and opens the file, determined not to look him in the eye. The summary is impeccably done, succinct and to the point and exactly how Noctis likes it (his aides haven't gotten that down quite yet, but they're making a valiant effort). Ignis doesn't need to tell him how long he'd spent doing it, Noctis already knows. He can read it in the tiredness of his eyes, and the fact that this is probably his second cup of coffee. But what's next, as it dawns on him. What comes after the divorce? ]

No wonder you look like shit. [ And yet, still a stunner, still managing to snare Noctis' full attention. ] Did she tell you why?

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